Are you In Control?
Someone asked me, just the other day: When you are alone at home and you have this feeling of fear overwhelming you, what do you do? Do you close all doors and windows or do you open all doors and windows?
I say: Rationally, if I am fearful of something that is in the house, I would open all doors and windows but if I am fearful of something that is outside the house, I would close all doors and windows!
But I sleep with my blanket over my head after watching horror movies! Ha-ha-ha, how rational is that?
Now, we have this neighbour of ours who drives a 5 ton lorry and loves to park his lorry in front of our balcony with its exhaust pipe pointing into the apartment! We have used all sorts of negotiation method from nice to nasty, from soft to loud with him but he just would not park his lorry elsewhere!
But, this stubborn old gentleman drives his 5 ton lorry to get food for the family and gives rides to his children to and fro school and work. And he would ensure the walkway into our units is clean. Now, how do we explain this character?
Sometimes, we just cannot explain or make sense of every situation and every person. How to? We are talking about human behaviour. Even a rational person could behave ridiculously when not thinking straight! And we could go crazy ourselves trying to figure out why?
This is especially true when someone is undergoing depression. We just couldn’t talk sense to them. Their mind is so closed up with their own issues that they have no logical flow of thoughts irrespective of how they were before. They could be the most outgoing or has the strongest character, but when they are depressed, they become a changed person.
We need a lot of time and patience to nurse them and we are lucky if we do not snap before they do! And this experience is one that no one would look forward to…
Many ordinary people do not understand and would pass casual remarks about a depressed character. It would be wicked to say this, but these ordinary people would need to experience taking care of one before they could comment what they do not know!
Now, why am I so passionate about the depressed? It is because I have taken care of one and helped two before. ..
To me: Until and unless one has actually experienced or understand a situation or feelings, one should not pass casual comments. Before one understands what the other has gone through in life, one should not pass casual comments.
But, who am I to stop people from speaking out their mind?
Have you been affected by a passing remark?